Ha ha! So I never thought this would happen to me! Last month I went on a free cruise with a beautiful ministry, http://jchealingministries.org/, Rev. Debra Hoskins. A blessing beyond my wildest dreams! Who would have told me I was going to be on the biggest ship in the world for 7 wonderful days... for Free!! It turns out a lady that had payed for her ticket was not able to attend at the last minute and I was handed over the precious opportunity. I met amazing, beautiful people in Jesus who were also part of the conference on the ship. We worshipped, fellowshipped and recreated in God's luscious nature: sun, beach and fun! We made stops at Haiti, Jamaica and Cozumel, Mexico. The food was glorious! The meetings were rapturous, and all together unforgettable!
I even got to worship an hour before every morning and evening meeting, my favorite! God knows this is the one thing I could not take a vacation from, worshipping Him on some kind of instrument. My friend, Nina, (who also go to go for free!!) had taken her guitar. But on the first night, I wondered into the conference room early and found the piano. You see, I have an inner instrument-detection mechanism that leads me to the room with a lonely guitar or piano which beckons me to come and play it. It finds me every time ; ) Been that way since I was small and could barely walk. So it was, the piano found me and I kept finding it every morning and night thereafter. Words not suffice to express what worshipping Jesus means to me! This time, on a big, big ship, in the middle of the ocean, among raving waves, enamored by ravishing sunrises and sunsets (how I love those!), islands and sunny beaches, the spacious, roaring nothingness under a clear, moon-light sky... something really special happened to me... and I'd like to tell you all about it ; )
Way back when, I was in my parents' church... I wasn't the youth director yet, but I was leading worship often, one of the guys from youth group came up to me telling me about all these experiences he was having with God while in prayer. Soon thereafter he was part of a missions trip to Mexico and the testimonies when they got back were almost absurd. The rest of the youth were sharing about how God had manifested with power, signs and healings through my friend. I had to ask him, "What's going on with you? What are you doing differently?" He told me about this book he had read, "Good Morning Holy Spirit", by Benny Hinn and how he just prayed these same prayers and asked God to visit his life as He had Benny Hinn's. Sure enough, he said, "The Holy Spirit became so real, close and personal, like a relative or a friend". Needless to say I was very intrigued and picked up the book right away.
It wasn't the book, it was the Person behind the book. He wanted me to know Him more than anything. I've often thought about what would have happened if I had never picked up the book? or never read it?...What if I had not asked my friend about it? I figure He would have revealed Himself sooner or later through other means. I read the book. I devoured the book. I never put down the book. When I wasn't reading it or the Bible, I was locked up in my room worshipping and, or praying. Even my mom complained, "You have a family, you know!" I knew nothing else. I didn't want to know anything else. There was a realization: this is what I was created for, to know Him!! I asked Him questions. I journaled about Him. I walked with Him, laughed with Him, literally, sometimes embarrassing myself infront of strangers. Nothing was more real. Nothing was to me more captivating that this Being, the Holy Spirit, who taught me about Jesus, His Word and the Father and about myself and those around me. I also became more bold sharing my faith with others in high school. I even prophesied to a group of goths in lunch time! I was taken over. I changed career paths. I even preached in church with such clarity and anointing that some still comment about it. I wrote songs that to this day carry a presence that melt hearts right into the throne room... So what happend? I asked myself when I was on the ship, when did this all dissipate? ... like the misty curtain vanishes, escaping, as the sun rises...
Life, life happened to me, like it happens to us all. There was this boy... it's always a boy (or a girl if you're a guy). I also went to college and though I spent much time in prayer, Bible reading and worship, and had meaningful encounters with God there, it wasn't the same... Why wasn't it?..... It's been a couple of years since I've been back from college, been in the real world, the world of unemployment, as a comedian friend of mine would say. I've been hired and fired...No, not really fired...anyway, quitted and...also quit looking. I've ventured, climbed mountains I thought defined me... which ended up being more like mole hills under a magnifying glass! Disappointing. I've chased the latest trends in worship styles and ministry movements. All the same thing, usually running on (if not for) fame, a little more than a name with a pretty face and a catchy phrase, need I say more? Nothing like what I encountered way back when. It had changed my life. It changed me.
He changed me! It's not a movement nor a ministry style nor a person who carries the keys to lasting transformation... or relative impact, whatever you want to call it. It's still all about a Person, the Person of Jesus Christ. His Holy Spirit is as real today as He was on that day in Pentecost when Jesus' friends looked at each other, cried and laughed seeing the torches over their heads!! Ha ha!
Only a personal encounter with this magnificent Being can bring about anything that marks someone for the better... or for the best! For there to be a splendid Before and After there has to be this moment of realization where one says, "I've met Him! I want to know Him more and more! He is all that I want! This is Life and it's worth my all!" ... And lets just say all of this is old news to you and you've been there and done that, bought the CDs, the DVDs, got part one, part two, and on the waiting list for three and four, got the t-shirt, which is sitting at the bottom of your drawer, you take it out every other Saturday to wash your car and the rest of that junk is up for sale on ebay... you're not as enlightened as you hoped for and a bit more broke you'd admit to after the fact... still seeking that Jacob's ladder revelation, like me...... Well, it's still all about God and the chase, as Tommy Tenney would say. That Person has all your answers and all you need. Stop buying stuff that promises a secret (or short cut) to this or that and get on your knees and talk to the Man!
That's what I did when I got back from the cruise. This was more than a cruise or a dreamy, free vacation. This was a set up. He called out to me and said, "Remember Me? Not with your fancy books and glittery pens, your pretty music and rainbow highlighters... Me? Just me?! Just you on your knees and I on your face, tears streaming down and your heart crumbled, surrendered, held out to me as you say- 'Have it all, have all of me! I'm all yours! Do with me as you please! This is all I want, more of you! Please, have my all!'". This is what I heard when I got back from the ship, when I was alone and got on my knees without gimmicks or aids. This is all I've ever wanted just didn't know how to get it back... didn't know how to look for it... forgot I lost it, misplaced it... forgot it meant this much to me!
So, thank you, free cruise, Debra, and the anointed men and women that God used to whisper a little something in my heart, a little something I'm living to hear more of everyday, alone, in prayer..... no gimmicks, no CDs, just me and my Bible, His voice and my tears... and a journal so I can tell you all about it when I get back! You know.... I had a dream years ago, while I was in college. I was in a big white ship in the middle of the ocean. Everything was white on the inside and the ocean was alive, as if it were God's presence, Himself, His glory. It really impacted me... Maybe He's been planing that cruise for a while...ha, ha! Well.... Happy God-encounters, everyone!
P.S.
IHOP-Miami update: It's going strong. We are still meeting at the Kendall location. The wonderful River of Life Church hosts us there. We open the prayer room for 12 hours on Saturday, 10 AM to 10 PM in addition to Tuesdays - Friday from 9 AM to 4 PM. However, I am only able to attend Saturdays, reason being, gas $, and a part-time, soon to be full-time the Lord blessed me with when I got back from the cruise. Only God knows how bad it hurt to be dirt-poor broke for so long. Jehova Jireh, our provider.... it didn't hurt that bad. But praise God for a job. The full-time ministry may come in the future.... sure feels like full-time ministry though. I'm leading worship for a Spanish church on Thursday and Sunday nights and giving guitar and piano lessons at IHOP-Miami on Saturdays since I'm there all day pretty much. It kinda hurts having to fight for my alone times with Jesus versus hours to spare at His feet... He knows my heart. I guess I have to guard the hours I do set apart for that.... hmmmm.... Doable!
P.S.S.
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| Nina and I boarding the "Allure of Seas" ship in Haiti. |
I even got to worship an hour before every morning and evening meeting, my favorite! God knows this is the one thing I could not take a vacation from, worshipping Him on some kind of instrument. My friend, Nina, (who also go to go for free!!) had taken her guitar. But on the first night, I wondered into the conference room early and found the piano. You see, I have an inner instrument-detection mechanism that leads me to the room with a lonely guitar or piano which beckons me to come and play it. It finds me every time ; ) Been that way since I was small and could barely walk. So it was, the piano found me and I kept finding it every morning and night thereafter. Words not suffice to express what worshipping Jesus means to me! This time, on a big, big ship, in the middle of the ocean, among raving waves, enamored by ravishing sunrises and sunsets (how I love those!), islands and sunny beaches, the spacious, roaring nothingness under a clear, moon-light sky... something really special happened to me... and I'd like to tell you all about it ; )
Way back when, I was in my parents' church... I wasn't the youth director yet, but I was leading worship often, one of the guys from youth group came up to me telling me about all these experiences he was having with God while in prayer. Soon thereafter he was part of a missions trip to Mexico and the testimonies when they got back were almost absurd. The rest of the youth were sharing about how God had manifested with power, signs and healings through my friend. I had to ask him, "What's going on with you? What are you doing differently?" He told me about this book he had read, "Good Morning Holy Spirit", by Benny Hinn and how he just prayed these same prayers and asked God to visit his life as He had Benny Hinn's. Sure enough, he said, "The Holy Spirit became so real, close and personal, like a relative or a friend". Needless to say I was very intrigued and picked up the book right away.
It wasn't the book, it was the Person behind the book. He wanted me to know Him more than anything. I've often thought about what would have happened if I had never picked up the book? or never read it?...What if I had not asked my friend about it? I figure He would have revealed Himself sooner or later through other means. I read the book. I devoured the book. I never put down the book. When I wasn't reading it or the Bible, I was locked up in my room worshipping and, or praying. Even my mom complained, "You have a family, you know!" I knew nothing else. I didn't want to know anything else. There was a realization: this is what I was created for, to know Him!! I asked Him questions. I journaled about Him. I walked with Him, laughed with Him, literally, sometimes embarrassing myself infront of strangers. Nothing was more real. Nothing was to me more captivating that this Being, the Holy Spirit, who taught me about Jesus, His Word and the Father and about myself and those around me. I also became more bold sharing my faith with others in high school. I even prophesied to a group of goths in lunch time! I was taken over. I changed career paths. I even preached in church with such clarity and anointing that some still comment about it. I wrote songs that to this day carry a presence that melt hearts right into the throne room... So what happend? I asked myself when I was on the ship, when did this all dissipate? ... like the misty curtain vanishes, escaping, as the sun rises...
Life, life happened to me, like it happens to us all. There was this boy... it's always a boy (or a girl if you're a guy). I also went to college and though I spent much time in prayer, Bible reading and worship, and had meaningful encounters with God there, it wasn't the same... Why wasn't it?..... It's been a couple of years since I've been back from college, been in the real world, the world of unemployment, as a comedian friend of mine would say. I've been hired and fired...No, not really fired...anyway, quitted and...also quit looking. I've ventured, climbed mountains I thought defined me... which ended up being more like mole hills under a magnifying glass! Disappointing. I've chased the latest trends in worship styles and ministry movements. All the same thing, usually running on (if not for) fame, a little more than a name with a pretty face and a catchy phrase, need I say more? Nothing like what I encountered way back when. It had changed my life. It changed me.
He changed me! It's not a movement nor a ministry style nor a person who carries the keys to lasting transformation... or relative impact, whatever you want to call it. It's still all about a Person, the Person of Jesus Christ. His Holy Spirit is as real today as He was on that day in Pentecost when Jesus' friends looked at each other, cried and laughed seeing the torches over their heads!! Ha ha!
Only a personal encounter with this magnificent Being can bring about anything that marks someone for the better... or for the best! For there to be a splendid Before and After there has to be this moment of realization where one says, "I've met Him! I want to know Him more and more! He is all that I want! This is Life and it's worth my all!" ... And lets just say all of this is old news to you and you've been there and done that, bought the CDs, the DVDs, got part one, part two, and on the waiting list for three and four, got the t-shirt, which is sitting at the bottom of your drawer, you take it out every other Saturday to wash your car and the rest of that junk is up for sale on ebay... you're not as enlightened as you hoped for and a bit more broke you'd admit to after the fact... still seeking that Jacob's ladder revelation, like me...... Well, it's still all about God and the chase, as Tommy Tenney would say. That Person has all your answers and all you need. Stop buying stuff that promises a secret (or short cut) to this or that and get on your knees and talk to the Man!
That's what I did when I got back from the cruise. This was more than a cruise or a dreamy, free vacation. This was a set up. He called out to me and said, "Remember Me? Not with your fancy books and glittery pens, your pretty music and rainbow highlighters... Me? Just me?! Just you on your knees and I on your face, tears streaming down and your heart crumbled, surrendered, held out to me as you say- 'Have it all, have all of me! I'm all yours! Do with me as you please! This is all I want, more of you! Please, have my all!'". This is what I heard when I got back from the ship, when I was alone and got on my knees without gimmicks or aids. This is all I've ever wanted just didn't know how to get it back... didn't know how to look for it... forgot I lost it, misplaced it... forgot it meant this much to me!
So, thank you, free cruise, Debra, and the anointed men and women that God used to whisper a little something in my heart, a little something I'm living to hear more of everyday, alone, in prayer..... no gimmicks, no CDs, just me and my Bible, His voice and my tears... and a journal so I can tell you all about it when I get back! You know.... I had a dream years ago, while I was in college. I was in a big white ship in the middle of the ocean. Everything was white on the inside and the ocean was alive, as if it were God's presence, Himself, His glory. It really impacted me... Maybe He's been planing that cruise for a while...ha, ha! Well.... Happy God-encounters, everyone!
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| Awhhhh... this was amazing! A beach in Haiti. |
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| The Jamaican coast, mon, from my friend, Nina's cabin balcony. |
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| Rev. Debra Hoskins, from JCHealingMinistries.org, and I in Adagio dining room. |
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| Part of the group of ministers and attendees at the conference on the ship. |
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| Rev. Debra preaching and I playing on the infamous piano!! It was "Daughter's of the King", a special women's ministry night. We all got dressed up and were romanced by Jesus! |
IHOP-Miami update: It's going strong. We are still meeting at the Kendall location. The wonderful River of Life Church hosts us there. We open the prayer room for 12 hours on Saturday, 10 AM to 10 PM in addition to Tuesdays - Friday from 9 AM to 4 PM. However, I am only able to attend Saturdays, reason being, gas $, and a part-time, soon to be full-time the Lord blessed me with when I got back from the cruise. Only God knows how bad it hurt to be dirt-poor broke for so long. Jehova Jireh, our provider.... it didn't hurt that bad. But praise God for a job. The full-time ministry may come in the future.... sure feels like full-time ministry though. I'm leading worship for a Spanish church on Thursday and Sunday nights and giving guitar and piano lessons at IHOP-Miami on Saturdays since I'm there all day pretty much. It kinda hurts having to fight for my alone times with Jesus versus hours to spare at His feet... He knows my heart. I guess I have to guard the hours I do set apart for that.... hmmmm.... Doable!
P.S.S.
I dyed my dreads yesterday...well, bleached them, and the results are brownish, orangy blondish and reddish dreads, Ha Ha! Hey, Six months is a LONG time for someone not to dye their hair! Someone that's worn every shade and style under the sun!.... Love the dreads and what it means between God and I ; )
I love you so much and your testimony you have written up so beautifully through the heart of God has literally moved me to the floor on my face in tears at the feet of Jesus. You have no idea what God just did for me through your writing. The cruise was a divine setup and appointment for you and He used it all now to minister to me in a profound way. I knew I was suppose to be all alone today at our prayer cabin here at Resurrection Mountian, but I didn't know why. Now I do. I send my love and thank you from the core of my innermost being.
ReplyDeleteForever romancing The King, Rev. Debra
I love you :)
Awh... just saw ur beautiful comment <3 <3 <3 !!!! Yes! God is beautiful and His ways are higher than ours and He is sooooooo FAithful!!! So grateful for having met you and your beautiful company of people that serve alongside of you!! Giant hugs!!!!!!! Many blessings!
ReplyDelete