Dear Blog

Dear Blog,


I'm sorry I don't visit you more often. I realize you may feel neglected at times. You have to understand something about me, I just don't like blogging for blogging's sake. I want to have a message worth writing about, that would lift someone's spirt, inspire them, you get me? Listen, there's a lot of useless information and social talk going around. If people are bored, there's plenty to be read out there for entertainment purposes. I don't like blabbing on and on about nothing.... And I don't need a fan base. I need to change lives, Let my light shine on someone's path! know what I mean?... I have good news! I have exciting blog topics coming up:
A blog about a dream I had in which I was flying! I interprete that to mean Faith..very cool dream. Another blog based on sermon notes I put together- The Burning Men- It will cost you something but it's worth everything!... cool blog as well. Another one about ..I forgot but I know I jotted it down somewhere. I'm sure it'll be fascinating too ; ) 'K. Will keep you posted. Thanks for hanging in there!



 

So I was at the park today. I usually go there when I'm either perplexed by too many thoughts or feelings, needing words to sort them out.  Other times I just want to Be, never mind words. Either case, I take my journal. You never know when something worth remembering might sit on you. Bugs had no trouble doing that today. There are soooo many bugs!!! Soooo many different types!!! Ok, ok, task at hand.

Words.... I didn't have words this time. I had thoughts, good thoughts and bad thoughts. Feelings, demeaning feelings and hopeful feelings. I know I'm better than to allow these to get the best of me, getting run over by the tumbling weeds of "what if's". So when I detect these detestable companions, my soul and I go on a mission to locate and eliminate the suspects... not literally, of course. Many times, it's like I'm a kite in the wind, pushed and shoved in every direction. If there's one thing I know is that my heart's pull of gravity is not Myself. I posses no truth in me strong enough  as to provide a Center, an anchor to sanity. So I look to God.

and He doesn't say something for a while. He lets me shout and pout while He just sits there in His sublime calmness, so sure of himself. A lot like my earth dad. and then He says something. It's funny, I think God is a lot like a psychologist. In that counseling class I took back in college, Miss Young emphasized that before we try to "fix" the problem with our enlightening advice, we should describe in  our own words back to the person being counseled what they had just said, expounding on their feelings as well. God is awesome. While reading a few verses in the Bible which I felt lead to read, not only were my feelings and thoughts x-rayed but so were the why's and causes of them laid out. How do you like this one?

Jeremiah 13:10
These wicked people, who refuse to listen to my words, who follow the stubbornness of their hearts and go after other gods to serve and worship them, will be like this belt—completely useless!

 Once again, he obliterated any trust I am to have in myself, my ways and deceitful heart, which changes its mind at the turn of every street. I think we humans never truly graduate from middle school, pertaining to matters of the heart. Adults' souls are just the hair-cut, business suit version of a loud mouth, pimple-face teenagers'.  And I'm no different. I just know where to run to, where to draw water from.

Once He read me like the Dollar menu, He then lead me to the answer: Trust. Isn't always about that? I heard a preaching on trust the other day. It was actually the Love Worth Finding church TV program. The pastor was saying how obedience is unquestionable where trust abounds. Where there is a lack of obedience, there's a trust issue. I dig that. My kite- flying venture is a trust issue. God, do you really mean what you say? Are You worth me believing in? Can I trust you with my heart? My future? Do You really have the best intentions for me in mind? Or perhaps I'm better off doing what I think is best for me? Do you really love me? Ok, you say you love me but... Can I trust your love for me?

So yeah, I stared at the sky. It was a lovely sunset. Aren't they all? I smiled at the colors and the configurations of the birds as they flew by. I stared at the lake water, dancing, so pretty, so calming. Smiled again... It's always moving, going somewhere. I then stared into my heart, a clump of chaos, and  distorted point of views, not inspiring at all. But aren't you glad that's never kept the Spirit of God  away from an unformed, wretched thing before?! In fact, that's when He gets ready to do His best work yet! I read one thing and it made all the difference. Psalm 78. I knew beforehand this is a super long Psalm. But I forget every time that it's not really about a recount of Israel's journey through the dessert but about the God of Israel and their Trust issue. Read the whole thing. I'll just mention these:

verses 7-8
Then they would put their trust in God 

   and would not forget his deeds 

   but would keep his commands. 

 They would not be like their ancestors— 

   a stubborn and rebellious generation, 

whose hearts were not loyal to God, 

   whose spirits were not faithful to him. 

verse 22

for they did not believe in God 
or trust in his deliverance.

Another version says, "..they would set their Hope in God...set its heart aright with God.." In the end, God does what He had made-up His mind to do with Israel not because of them but in spite of them. Hhmmm, no comment ; ) After reading this, meditating on His words, I felt A LOT better, needless to say. And I realized He is most definitely worthy of my Love and trust. Love is not love until there's obedience. And hardly any obedience can take place without Trust. And goodness knows I want to love God with ALL! You are worthy of my trust, my God and Friend.

You know what else He said? He whispered this just to me but I want to share it with you 'cause I'm sure He'd say it to you just the same. It went something like this:


"You know, all those thoughts and worries that have made you feel deceived, betrayed, divided, confused, as if your future was uncertain- I never counted on those. Those were never part of my plan for you. My plans for you have not been altered at all, untouched by all those factors that seem to bother you so much. My plans are intact, complete, unaltered. Everything's going just fine. Now will you Trust my Love for you? Those desires for beautiful, hope-filled things, that is yours. I gave that to you. My thoughts towards you outnumber the grains of sand. You will have some of that loveliness here on earth and the rest of it in eternity. Do you know how the story ends? The princess gets the Prince and they live happily ever after! ; )" The Prince meaning Jesus, of course. Isn't it just like God to say such things?!


And this is the part where I picked the bug I didn't bother identifying out the back of my hair, I guess in more ways than one. I took a big sigh of relief, finished slapping all the other bugs crawling on me and my books and texted my sister-in-law back that I would go jogging with her around the park before dinner ; ) The End

I hear in my spirit that song, "Be still and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10.  Juanita Bynum's version (goosebumps) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00xX8GBBvMI

... And this blog only took me 3 hours to put together...another reason I don't write so often. Always a pleasure though. sooner than later...